Talkin’ the Melrose Sturgeon Farm Masacree blues… David Beede copyright 2010 Some background on ol’ Melrose town I need to tell you about For many years now we been sufferin’ from A deep and dusty drought In the 80s lake Swan was a great big lake With an island in the middle We’d canoe out there without a care and fish and play the fiddle In the nineties our lake split into two With a small canal to link ‘em Today that canal is bone dry And the lakes they just keep shrinkin’ The docks ringing the shore are 15 ft high and dry Look like Gazebos on stilts trying to touch the sky… Round here there’s a branch of Government in charge of all our water They teach us all how to conserve and do the things we ought er The Water Management District web site has words of wisdom like: “Florida’s available water supply will soon be surpassed by the population.” [On account of that] We water our lawns on certain days and use low flow shower heads Heck, Lots of us got rid of our lawns and use native plants instead We got rain barrels - high efficiency johns Dual action flushing and the list goes on! If you download their list and follow it with all your heart You’ll save 95 thousand gallons a year - we all should do our part! Lets ALL conserve… yeah do what we ought er Let’s all preserve our precious water Chorus: Keep our Floridan aquifer safe and sound, aquifer safe and sound under ground . [Now that’s your part jump on in when it comes round again.] I’ll tell you about Eugene Kholov A Canadian oral surgeon has deep pockets and a fancy for fishies Mostly Siberian Sturgeon. He thought he’d raise a few as pets - Only trouble is The law thought 1600 fish Was much more like a biz Chorus Spoken: You know in Canada it’ perfectly legal to raise local lake Sturgeon so what is this obsession with Siberian sturgeon? Are they that much cuter and cuddlier than local sturgeon? What motivated Mr. Kholov to illegally import 120,000 fertilized eggs? Turns out, it’s all about the eggs, roe, caviar. A little research reveals that a tin of Florida farm raised Siberian caviar sells for $3,000! A case of the stuff you could throw on the seat of your car sells for 40 grand! Then it all got crystal clear… caviar turns our precious Floridan aquifer into BLACK GOLD - to tickle sophisticated taste buds - roe - roe roe your boat…roe roe roe your yacht is more like it - at the expense of the water we locals row our boats in … They took his fish and slapped his wrist and fined him five grand But he’d show them he’d move his biz To a more lenient Southern land Land of the free [free water] Land of flowers [wilted flowers] Land of culture - [aquaculture that is.] Chorus: [speaking of ground] He bought a plot of ground in Melrose town A stones throw from lake Swan Commenced to filing for permits Sos they could get their bidness goin’ They looked up Claire Muirhead [She’s a hydrologist that works for the Water Management district.] Had a little talk with her Bout wantin’ to pump a quarter million gallons From our Floridan Aquifer. ¼ million - enough for 2400 citizens Every day that is For twenty years Enough water to fill up three lake Swans! Water management?? chorus Then they called a meeting - so we could have our say And the fish farm guy from Canada could explain our cares away Didn’t exactly go like that, in fact it didn’t go too well When we asked about the benefits There wasn’t much to tell A handful of metal buildings Ten jobs at the max The building crews most likely’d come from Gainesville or from Jax He claimed that their catchment pond was like a big ol’ septic tank It wouldn’t hurt our lakes a bit, nor the well water we drank He said he’d hired a company to do all of the science He’d dotted his “I”s and crossed his “T”s and he was in in compliance [computer models-2nd opinion] You don’t have to be a genius, you don’t have to be astute To hear conflicting messages and know they don’t compute If we have to watch how we brush and flush cuz’r water problems urgent Can we sacrifice millions of gallons to raise some crazy sturgeon? Keep our Floridan aquifer safe and sound aquifer safe and sound under ground If this all smells a bit fishy to you… verging on obscene Do us all a favor and talk to Kirby Green The final deal’s in Kirby’s hands hsays Yay or Nay If you have an opinion give Mr. Green a call today. Since Mr. Green’s job is with the State you know he’s working for us Let’s remind Mr. Green of that with one more rousing chorus Chorus: repeat 2 X Keep our Floridan aquifer safe and sound - aquifer safe and sound under ground . Call Kirby Green! St. John’s Water Management District phone numbers: (386) 329-4500 (800) 451-7106